[Prerequisite for this article: general Christian principles and belief in the Bible]
Among Christians, the hot topic is modesty. Many denominations, Christians, and even Catholics have presumed to issue rubrics for girls – "What to Wear, What Not to Wear." "It's okay to show ankles now, we're sure we don't need to tell you, but… this other area of your body is not appropriate. Thus sayeth us."
Biblical modesty is a little confusing. I've yet to find a verse that says, "A glimpse of stocking is something shocking!" But it does say, "likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire…." Even with that "clearly spelled out" in the New Testament, it's not like Christians never wear gold or pearls, nor do up their hair. Truth is that Paul was making a point in that passage, which was not, "Wear frumpy clothing." Truth is that the Bible is just not specific about what we're allowed to do with clothing.
Out of curiosity, google "Bible verses about modesty." You may already be familiar with OpenBible.info – it often comes up when you're looking for verses. Skimming through the results for "modesty," several verses don't seem to apply. Ah, but the key to modesty actually lies in those very verses. Because modesty is not what they say….
Modesty is not covering yourself up. Modesty is not leaving something to the imagination. Modesty is not guarding the hearts, eyes, and minds of the opposite sex. Modesty is not last year's fashions. Modest is not hottest.
Modesty is honesty – in a way. Or so Marc from "Bad Catholic" says. I mean, at least it actually rhymes and makes sense, so give him credit for that, anyway. I think I do understand his point, even though at times it was hard for me to grasp how he was able to condense modesty down to honesty – but it probably wasn't his objective to condense it down, so anyway…. (He does a great job exploring the topic, I think. Check it out.)
Here is what I've learned to associate with modesty: dressing to reveal yourself. I guess that does sound like honesty, doesn't it? Dressing to reveal who you are as a person. What this doesn't mean is just, "I'm a human being and I have a body! Deal with it! Let's all go nudist!" But I'm also aiming at not telling you what you must or must not wear, what you can or cannot show. I think you already know.
Young girls usually have a good sense of modesty (or shyness, if you like), indicating that modesty is probably something natural, and not ingrained in us. If it was ingrained, women would be more inclined to be modest than children. But even adult women can probably tell me what is modest and what is not, simply by having a general idea of society and fashion. Very few people will actually believe that it is good or even okay to be a slut. So dressing like a slut? How is anyone supposed to tell the difference? Dressing like a slut means saying that you're a slut. And while everyone else has a duty to not treat you as a slut, you have a duty to not be a slut, think like a slut, or dress like a slut. Just as an example.
When you dress, what are you revealing about yourself? If what you're revealing is a lot of skin (by today's standards anyway) or undergarments, you're saying something about yourself that isn't true. (Hopefully you know that it isn't true, but that's a pep talk for another time.) Certain styles could also be considered immodest, maybe only because of the circumstances. What do you want to tell people about yourself? What's the impression you want to make?
The rest of that line from 1 Timothy says, "but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works."
"Likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works."
But here are a few more relevant verses:
"Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”" –– Expand your understanding of the definition of modesty:
"Beware of practicing your righteousness before other people in order to be seen by them, for then you will have no reward from your Father who is in heaven."
Modesty is honest, it is humble, it is respectful. And in that way, modesty includes an element of not tempting others. There's a small but growing group of Christian people saying that what happens on the boy's end is not the responsibility of the girl. For example, they rail against, "Ladies, don't wear bikinis because it leads guys to sin." They are quite right in hating the prevailing notion that guys can't help what they think or do. If all the women around them are scantily clad, men will not necessarily disrespect these women. Men can and should control their thoughts and actions. But don't leave it at that.
The Bible still says, "Woe to the world for temptations to sin! For it is necessary that temptations come, but woe to the one by whom the temptation comes!" Whether bikinis are modest or not is, as far as I can see, arguable on both sides; and if a girl does wear a bikini, any man that lusts after her is accountable for his own soul.
BUT.
Ladies, you still need to take into consideration that you may be a temptation. You by no means need to go to extraordinary means or defy modern fashion in order to save men. A modest woman can still be the object of lust. But dress thoughtfully. If you are a temptation because you're lazy, don't care, or want to look sexy, that reflects on you and you will be held accountable. You know what excessive cleavage says about you. You know super short skirts are ultimately embarrassing. Dress like you demand respect, not like you're looking for a flirt. There is a difference.
Basically, if you say to yourself, "Ooh yeah, that looks sexy," you'll know you need to throw on a cardigan or something. Men, if you're dressed, your clothes should be on and properly secured. You know you know what I'm talking about.
1 Timothy 2:9-10
1 Peter 5:5
Matthew 6:1
Matthew 18:7
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