I was very glad to get some feedback on my last post Feminism and Masculinity!
First of all, I did not make this conversation up, but the context was a light one. It is largely unedited but some grammar or spelling mistakes were corrected and digressions omitted. Jared and Elizabeth just touched on this topic briefly and it was an exchange between friends. Jared and Elizabeth might make further appearances on this blog but the views expressed may not necessarily be the fullness of the truth of the issue.
The feedback consisted of someone selecting the "disagree" box, which I appreciate as perfectly acceptable feedback. I understand that the content is debatable and its nuances are foggy. But more importantly, I want feedback – negative or positive! I say thank you to whomever clicked the disagree box – but please! Give me more! Don't be afraid to say that you strongly disagree. I want respectful comments and thoughtful comments, but I want to discuss these issues. If you disagree, I would love to hear your thoughts and possibly even agree with you.
Sorry, that was me! I agreed with a few of the points made, but overall I disagreed, which is why I chose to select "disagree". I intended on commenting as well, but school has been beating me up lately, and I kept forgetting to get back to that. I'm sorry I haven't commented in such a long time. :/
ReplyDeleteFeminists are said to be aggressive, hostile, and angry. Part of why they're being painted this way is that such criticism is meant to wipe aside what they are actually saying, so that they are discounted. The other reason they are accused of hostility, is that people hear the accusing angry tone of feminism, and feel threatened. They find it instinctive to lash back, rather than to deal with the substance of what feminists are saying. It would be wiser if society were prepared to address wrongs, instead of resisting change, because righting wrongs is the only way to heal the gender wars, or any other social ill for that matter. Righting wrongs is in all our interest. It makes for a stronger more moral society.
Feminism should not be a hate movement. But just because some feminists may be aggressive, doesn't mean they are all like that, and it doesn't mean feminism should be dismissed as something not to be taken seriously. The idea of feminism is essentially equality for women and the stance that women should be treated as human beings, and I think it doesn't matter what some feminists are like - what matters is the original thought that drove the movement into existence, because that's worth fighting for. I think we're experiencing a feminist backlash. Some people are downplaying feminists and writing them off as angry and crazy. Writing off people as angry or crazy means they don't get listened to or respected, or taken seriously. And they do need to be taken seriously; their opinions need to get heard. Our society is in need of change and that is not going to happen if no one steps forward.
I completely agree that there is more to being female than modesty and how to date and find a good husband. I send an imaginary high five to Elizabeth on that one.
But I think the belief that men and women are already treated equally in our society is false, because they truly aren't equal yet. We still have a long, long, long way to go. I 100% disagree with the notion that the world doesn't need feminism, or that it doesn't need to exist. Because we really need it. We really, really do. Especially with all the violence towards women and victim blaming going on in our society. That needs to stop. How many female presidents have we had? Why do women get paid less than men? Why do most of the words used to insult a male have feminine connotations? Why is the list of insults for women so much longer than the one for men? Because being a female isn't thought of as something to aspire to, or respect. We're living in a patriarchal society, in which the men have all the power, and everything is made to fit the male perspective and made to serve their needs.
It's not like feminists are angry for no reason. It's because society is torn up and gone bad that feminism exists. Not the other way around. It's because so many men have disrespected and mistreated women that the feminist movement exists in the first place.
Respecting others in order to respect one's self is definitely true for men as well as for women. Instead of claiming that the women are in the wrong, the men should ask why they're angry. The problem will never get fixed if the person never admits they were wrong and tries to fix it. We need to stop putting the focus on the women, and saying it's a women's issue, when in reality, it is a men's issue, and something they need to fix, so that we can move forward.
Continued from where my last comment left off (yikes this is a really long comment): Society must recognize the freedom of each individual to be who they are. No one should be held back from reaching their potential. No one should be put into a box, or restrained by expectations which are not a match with the individual. Judging people on the basis of where they fit into the gender spectrum is holding society back from reaching a healthy place where we are all free to be ourselves and achieve our inner possibilities, and where we all treat one another well. There is no need for anyone to feel threatened by other people who have a different place on the gender spectrum. They'll always be who they are, and I don't want them to ever change their roles. We need to accept them for who they are, and realize that we are still going to be who we are.
ReplyDeleteNot everyone can fit the same mold. And they shouldn't have to. I believe in being yourself, and if being yourself does not align with a certain role, you should reject the box you're expected to climb into, rather than rejecting yourself. If a girl dreams of becoming a warrior instead of a princess, let her. If a boy enjoys dancing in a tutu, let him. Things shouldn't be labeled as male or female. People should be free to express themselves.
Anyway, those are my thoughts on the issue. I realize it is a sensitive topic so I hope I didn't cause any offense. I don't think Jared and Elizabeth necessarily believe anything of what I wrote above. I was referring to people in general, in order to express my views. Sorry it took so long to comment!
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