Love Life Advice from Medicus Cur

[Guest post from Medicus Cur!]

In a world where words of love are freely given how often do they have meaning behind them? Today's Western culture has become a society in which the phrase "I love you" is tossed out casually and often takes meanings other than the one originally intended. How can we know what "true love" is in this society of cheap words and purchased affections?  In order to love properly and be able to discern whether or not what we feel is actually love we should know what it really is to love.  

Some of you may already know that the Ancient Greeks had several different words for love with each describing a particular kind of relationship between the lover and the beloved. We will briefly discuss five basic kinds of love according to the Greeks. First is agape, meaning a pure, ideal type of love. Secondly, we have eros which is a passionate love expressing a sensual desire. Thirdly, there is philia, a dispassionate virtuous love requiring virtue, familiarity, and equality. Fourthly, storge, a natural affectionate love such as that felt by parents for their progeny. Finally, xenia, a hospitable love expressed between a host and his guests. Whew, kind of a lot to digest but let us see what we can learn from it anyway. One thing to note in all of these example is that there is an element of selflessness. Love cannot exist where there is selfishness. In philosophy we arrive at the conclusion that love must be an act of a being that possesses a consciousness. Also we can reason that there must be an object perceived by the consciousness that receives the love. We do not think "love occurs" instead we think "I love", this is necessary because of the relationship between consciousness and action. The recognition that love necessarily involves another is why in the Summa Theolgia, St. Thomas Aquinas defines love as this, "To love is to will the good of another". Each one of the Greek forms wills the good and well-being of another person and thus can be defined as love. 

That is all well and good but what exactly does it mean to "will the good"? Does it mean that you want your beloved to be healthy, eat right, exercise and all of that stuff? Well, yes, but not just that.  If you have ever read Luke 18:19 you should know, "'Why do you call me good?' Jesus asked him. 'Only God is truly good.'" Only God is truly good is a pretty absolute statement. If you will the good of another through love then you are willing God upon them. The only way to achieve that good, THE Good, is through attaining salvation. Love is a constant pursuit of the salvation for the beloved. This pursuit can come in many different forms whether it is going to Mass together on a regular basis, praying together, or even just being a good role model in faith, morality, and integrity. To love perfectly is impossible except through the grace of the Holy Spirit which brings me to a serious knowledge bomb.

"Whoever does not know love does not know God, for God is love." 1 John 4:8

Well isn't that a little funny. We just got done saying that to will the good of another is to will communion with God but now I am saying that we cannot know love outside of God. Here comes the fun part. Take the last three words of that verse, "God is love", and now break it into individual words. Each of those words is associated with a person of the Holy Trinity. "God", this is God the Father, the one who you probably think of when you think of "God". Next we have the word "is" representing the person of Jesus Christ. Jesus came down to Earth taking the form of man and "became flesh". He took corporeal form that we, being the mortal, corporeal beings that we are, might know Him more perfectly and so that he might die for our salvation. There is that salvation word again. If God sent his Son to die for our salvation then it could certainly be said that he wills our good. God therefore must love us. Now we come to the final word, "love". The word "love" embodies the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is the helper given to us by God, promised by Christ, in order to help us achieve salvation. God quite literally gave his love to us. Jesus died so that the path to salvation might become open but it is only through the workings of the Holy Spirit that we can arrive at the destination of eternal communion with God. 

So what does this all mean in terms of romantic love? That is just the thing, it all relates. The love of the Cross is the same as the love of the child and the same as the love a husband should have for his wife. If you truly love somebody it does not matter if it is "romantic" love, "filial" love, or any other sort of love. Lovers will always desire the good of the beloved. True, all forms of love have different means of expression and different physiological sensations associated with them but the essence and source of the love is the same. 

Now comes the question. Do you love your significant other? That is up to you to determine. I cannot tell you whether or not you are in love, only you can decide that. No matter how loved or unloved you feel, know this, you are loved by God in a way greater than you or I can hope to explain or understand.

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